Laws of Cycling
by: Gianna Bellofatto

What better opportunity than now to review the Laws of Bicycling. Dust off your helmet, pump up those tires and read this before you take to the road. But I think it is only fair to warn you that these aren't typical road rules. Bicycle laws defy nature and reason so don't even attempt to prove or disprove their validity. Some things must simply be accepted on face value.

First Law of Bicycling
No matter which way you ride, it's uphill and against the wind. This is how you may feel on your first ride of the new season. Not to worry. Though some of you will insist the start of your ride is always into the wind while your return ride is always against the wind. It's the law.

Second Law
No matter how far you ride, the return trip is always longer. A valid illusion which helps to explain why the last few miles of a ride feel longer.

Third Law
It's always the rear wheel that gets the flat. (forget those 50-50 odds) This is Murphy's Law of cycling and life in general. It is always the most difficult thing to replace or fix which breaks down. Life is a struggle, so relax and enjoy it.

Fourth Law
You can never get lost while riding a bike; your ride is merely extended. This places a different spin on a wrong or missed turn. It is this Zen bike attitude that will help you to just enjoy the moment and not fret about how much longer your ride has become. Of course this doesn't help if Laws 1, 2, and 3 have already surfaced.

Fifth Law
Thou shall stop at neighborhood lemonade stands. This is a basic concept to think about the little guys in life whether whizzing on your road bike or in a town car.

Sixth Law
You always look younger on a bicycle. Forget that anti-aging cream, your fountain of youth is on two wheels. Just ride. You're never too old to grow young.

Seventh Law
Cyclists never die, they just re-cycle. Is this really a law? You bet. Year after year, we see the same merry faces on the road pedaling along the roadside.

Eighth Law
Thou shall not sell your bicycle for scrap metal. If isn't broken you don't fix it. If it's fixed you don't toss it. And if it's your bike, you never sell it. Tempted as you may be to do this especially when Laws 1, 2, 3, and 4 are active.

8 1/2 Law
Thou shall not sleep with your neighbor's bike. This is a joke. Sleeping with any bike is still not recommended, and especially your neighbor's.

Ninth Law
Always wear your helmet, your humor, and a smile. It's easy to see the Life is a Bike attitude is to have fun-but make it safe fun.

Tenth Law Remember, Life is a Bike, and laws are made to be broken.